Once upon a time my dear mum had all of us children take piano lessons from a woman named Patty Boyd, and of course we went to her house for our lessons. Now Patty lived in a nice neighborhood and had a nice house and lots of cats. And 1 day as we were driving to Patty's for our hour and a half of character building we fell upon......
....this.
We were all quite speechless. There are 5 phases we went through when we saw it.
First we had a blank look on our faces.
Second our thoughts "What in good heavens name is that????".
Third the awkward silence where we all have the same thought but no one will say anything for fear of waking up to the reality of realizing that this in fact isn't a dream.
Fourth someone breaking that silence with their thoughts.
And fifth taking it all in.
We all marched into Pattys with a look of confusion on our faces. We had our lessons which didn't go too well thanks to the horror we had witnessed. After our lessons mum gathered up enough courage to ask what was going on next door. A cloud of darkness fell upon Patty as she began to tell us the tale.
"Well my 'lovely asian neighbors' went to Europe for a month and came back in love with anything to do with the ancient world. A week after they got home came the first shipment. Boxes and boxes of columns. I watched as they put them all around their house. Some were made to look as though they were holding up the house, but then there were some that were just randomly placed not supporting anything. Then came the statues. They put them everywhere. All over the lawn. In any and every open peice of land. Some are even on top of the columns that aren't supporting anything. With the statues came the lions to place infront of the doors. Also the fountain came. Just when I thought they were done I came out one morning to find that they were putting a gold trim on the top of the columns. AND it doesn't help that everything they just added is made of fake cheesy marble!"
Once the tale had ended we went outside to take a gander at the catostrophe. The owners of the house were outside just walking around and basking in the glory of their house. Years have come and gone since this tragedy befell the human race and the owners still walk around and gaze at their homestead with pride. No doubt in their minds it should be made a historic site of Santa Maria.
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